Melissa, I spent this past weekend celebrating my college reunion and on Saturday night, I found myself walking alongside an older gentlemen who was on campus to celebrate his 50th reunion; he had graduated from college in 1959! When he was on campus, there were no female students, no African American students, and certainly no black women faculty members. My very presence on this campus was a visual example of how much things had changed in 50 years. I inwardly wondered how this gentlemen would respond to me and to the vast differences that separated our experiences at our alma mater. But instead of a focus on "difference," he engaged me in a wonderful conversation about the many things we shared, despite the dissimilarities of years, gender, race, and occupation. I can say, with no irony, that this 20 minute conversation was the highlight of my entire weekend.
I have been thinking about irreconcilable or reconcilable differences since I heard the news of the murder of Dr. George Tiller, the Kansas physician, abortion provider, and reproductive rights activist who was shot in the foyer of his church on Sunday, while he served as an usher and while his wife sang in the choir. I would imagine that various members of this church may have felt very differently from Dr. Tiller over his stance on reproductive rights, but this community choose to worship together despite their differences.
I have no doubt, as I discussed concerning Notre Dame, that there were vast differences of opinion in response to President Obama's commencement address and his straight-forward talk about reproductive rights. But much of the Notre Dame community listened respectfully, despite these differences. In response to the murder of Dr. Tiller, President Obama stated: “However profound our differences as Americans over difficult issues such as abortion, they cannot be resolved by heinous acts of violence.”
So Melissa, it is Monday morning and I am wondering whether we can have civilized conversations about tough issues like abortion or gun control or reparations in spite of our profound differences. It seems as if each opposing camp wants to shout down the other camp, silence them, or kill them. We want to rely on sound bytes and pithy expressions to castigate those with whom we don't agree, but the truth of the matter is that these conversations are complex, weighty, and difficult. They require that we listen and thoughtfully engage in another point of view. Some conversations require that we put ourselves into the position of the most vulnerable and most desperate, and imagine something from their vantage point. Some conversations require that we confront our own prejudices, stereotypes, fears, and beliefs. In other words, tackling the greatest moral issues of our day means confronting our differences.
Heinous acts of violence only further entrench people into their positions and does nothing to positively serve one's cause. The irony and hypocrisy of killing Dr. Tiller in a church sanctuary disturbs me on so many levels. Was George Tiller's life not precious in God's sight? I do not believe that the toughest moral questions of the day will not be solved with gunfire, nor will they be solved by knocking one sacred book or another over someone's head. Browbeating, threatening, forcible coercion, and intimidation rarely works in bringing about consistent change. There may be differences between all of us that are fundamentally irreconcilable. But in those cases, can there at least be respect?
Yolanda
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