Yolanda,
Last night I finally saw Milk. Beautifully acted by Sean Penn, it is the story of Harvey Milk, our country's first openly gay elected official. Long before the film, I knew the story of Milk's rise from community activist to elected official, his effective advocacy against California's Prop 6 in the mid 1970s, and the tragic story of his assassination and the infamous "Twinkie Defense" his murderer evoked. Despite my familiarity with his story, I found it powerful to revisit Harvey Milk in our current political context.
As a nation we just helped an unlikely community activist get elected to the White House. Many of us were part of a movement that gave us hope and made us feel included. And in the midst of this rising tide of optimism we endured a painful loss against California's Proposition 8. Milk reminded me again of how ballot initiatives, fueled by self-righteous bigots shrouded in biblical arguments, have been used for decades to strip gay Americans of their basic civil rights. It makes me shudder to imagine what would have become of Civil Rights for African Americans had our humanity been adjudicated by popular vote.
Milk is also a powerful reminder of the brutality and violence that marks LGBT lives.
Last month, as we were busily preparing for the Christmas holidays, a 28-year-old woman was brutally gang raped in Richmond, California. The victim is openly lesbian and displays a rainbow sticker on her car. During the crime, her assailants indicated that she was being targeted because she is lesbian. Her story reveals the continuing violence, hatred, and brutality that accompany anti-gay sentiment in this country. Yolanda, this sister has a daughter the same age as our girls. She was just driving home. Parked her car. Got out and then was plunged into a nightmare of violence.
As much as I appreciated Milk, the story has the unfortunate effect of reinscribing an image of gay identity as primarily white, male, urban, and childless. The American imagination of "gay people" as childless, white, men living in cities can render invisible lesbian mothers of color like the woman attacked in Richmond. I believe this has particularly negative consequences for our ability to build political alliances between racial minorities, feminist movements, and gay activism. Although the original numbers about African American opposition to Prop 8 were wildly overestimated, it remains clear that black voters were part of the coalition that passed Prop 8 in California this November. Just six weeks after our narrow-minded vote, one of our own daughters was brutalized. These things are related.
I believe that when we sanction second class status, when we vote for dehumanization, when we religiously justify inequality, then we encourage and become complicit in violence. Jim Crow gave cover to the lynch mobs. Prop 8 aids the rapists. Communities of color must recognize that we are not separate from gay communities. Your people are my people. I have a beautiful teenage niece who is a brilliant, brave, out lesbian. When I think about her life, her gifts, her talents, and her spirit I know without any doubt that she is a fully loved and accepted child of God who is perfect in every way, including her sexual identity. I am sometimes terrified of the violence she may yet encounter in her life as a result of who she is. I am emboldened by her courage to live an authentic life, unrestricted by those who would rather shove her into a closet.
Harvey Milk understood that "straight folks" needed to feel our interconnections with gay men and lesbians. We have to know that our destinies our intertwined. We cannot be a great and free country while we sanction violence against and degradation of our neighbors. I consider it a sacred and politically necessary task to speak out for the rights and equalities of others, because they are not truly other. We are all one.
Guests at The Kitchen Table can learn more about assisting the Richmond, California rape victim on the Facebook group "Help A Sister Out."
You can make contributions to assisting her, her partner, and their 8-year-old daughter at:
Community Violence Solutions
2101 Van Ness Ave.,
San Pablo, CA 94806
Attn: Mrs. Joanne Douglas
2101 Van Ness Ave.,
San Pablo, CA 94806
Attn: Mrs. Joanne Douglas
You can send her a card of sympathy and solidarity at
Attn: Sgt. Brian Dickerson
1701 Regatta Blvd.
Richmond, CA 94804
I encourage all of us to make standing for justice our first and most critical New Year's resolution.
Melissa
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12 comments:
Thank you for this post!
This is a very good post.
the way you are re-focusing peoples attention is so needed.
my partner and i are Jesus following-God believing, women of color and we are raising our two daughters to understand family is any group that loves ands accepts you and provides positive growth for you--and that God does not hate what He created.
it is a relief to read your words.
we are living one day at a time.
that was good
i hate fags how could you call yourself a christian. The scriptures are clear when they say gays should be stoned to death
Dear Melissa, thank you for your continuing witness.
May we all continue to work to make our world a safer one for ALL our children.
I grew up in a small town, 450 people. During my lifetime I have lived in several other small towns. After 9:00 pm, the people who aren't home watching TV are usually at a bar getting drunk. In my town, there were some gay men: one ran a book store, another one owned a restaurant. I remember seeing these men taunted, challenged on the dark street, beaten by gangs. It is, I think, an unspoken truth in all American small towns that such men are prey and that it is a legitimate thrill to beat them. Women too, although in rural America it is not so clearly understood which women are gay. I think we have to ask ourselves as a society why we need to have a victim before us: if the object of our dark and hidden violent urges weren't communist, or black, or hispanic, or gay, what would the object of the violence be? I sense the same amount of ambient, unfocused anger abroad that I felt when I was a younger man (probably more). On whom will it be vented, and how can we find ways to help each other redirect it before it is vented?
Great post. Thanks for bringing our attention to the young sister's plight. I am definitely going to give and encourage other readers to do so as well. So few people (black, white, gay, straight) are afraid to say anything, let alone write it in a blog. Thank you so very much.
Awesome post and very true. It's like the anti-gay religious community doesn't think that their efforts are very effective. Well, they are! And anti-gay violence is the proof.
I wrote a little about it too, feel free to read it here: Anti-Gay Violence Up -- Surprised?
Hi Melissa,
Thanks for this post! You write, "Just six weeks after our narrow-minded vote, one of our own daughters was brutalized." This implies that the victim was Black, but I haven't seen any mention of this. Does anyone have a reference?
First, Melissa, thank you for bringing this to our attention. I have many young people in my life who identify as LGBTQ, and I want the world to be a save environment for them. I will do whatever I can help this latest victim recover he faith in humanity.
Second, to "Anonymous," who posted at 12:53 PM on 4 Jan 09: How can you call yourself a Christian when you hate others and (seemingly) have no problems with stoning those with whom you are not in agreement? Does the person of Christ advocate such measures? It is just such attitudes that keep deeply faithful people outside the church walls...and walls around the hearts of those who are trapped inside those walls. My hope and prayer is that you are touched by God's grace AND mercy, and that you permit both to emanate from you...not because others deserve them, but because we have all received both gifts even when we fail to deserve them.
Finally, intolerance and oppression directed against any person or group or class of people is a slippery slope. Those who are experiencing it today foreshadow what is to come against us tomorrow. If we fail to speak and act against it, who will do so when we are targeted?
Peace,
Angela
4 have been arrested for this sick attack:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2009/01/01/state/n091840S52.DTL&tsp=1
"Two men and two teens have been arrested on suspicion of gang-raping a woman last month in the San Francisco Bay area while allegedly taunting her for being a lesbian, police said Thursday..."
Melissa, thank you for pointing out that minorities, especially minority lesbians and gays,are still silenced. Daring shows like Will and Grace or Ugly Betty have only reinforced the image of gay as white and childless.
Racism or homophobia in a community subverts any progress that has been achieved in that community.
Thank you for saying what so many are too cowardly to admit.
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